Facebook Relationship Status

I was one of those people who used Friendster for a long time starting way back in the early 21st century when it was the most popular social networking site. Then its appeal kind of wore off so I didn't really use it much at all. However, I was bored one day at work a few months ago and decided to join Facebook (most of my friends in HK use it as their main source of communicating and organizing events), as I'd read a lot about it and knew some people who were on it. So I eagerly began filling out my profile, entering details about my university degree, favorite books and movies, employment information, and so on. When I got to the part about relationship status, I had no problems checking the "engaged" button and setting my preferences so that this fact was displayed proudly at the top on my profile (it's possible to either display or not display this status, depending on your preference). This was both a mistake and a blessing in disguise.

It was a mistake because as soon as I became un-engaged everyone who was my friend on Facebook knew it (for those of you who aren't in on the Facebook action, whenever someone's relationship status changes (or anything else about their profile) this change is duly noted in the News Feed of all of their friends, so that whenever my friends logged into their profiles, they would see a little picture of a broken heart and some text that said "David xxxxxx is no longer engaged"). This is bad because one of my friends on Facebook asked my mother (who is not on Facebook) what was going on with me and if I was okay, and my mother had no idea what they were talking about because I had chosen not to tell her about the breakup yet. Lucky enough for me my mom is the type who cares about me, and soon began calling me asking what happened. So after a while of avoiding communications, I finally called her (after my breakup vacation - by the way, I searched the web for "breakup vacation" and since I couldn't find it anywhere, I am officially coining the phrase "breakup vacation" - the definition being a vacation taken by 2 people who were involved in a serious romantic relationship prior to the vacation, but brokeup immediately before the planned vacation and went on the vacation anyways (I suppose breakup up on the actual vacation would also apply)). So the bad part about this whole thing is that people knew about what happened before I was ready for them to know.

The blessing part of this situation is that people knew about what happened before I was ready for them to know. The beauty of this is that people knew what happened, so that I didn't have to actually tell them myself. So just like me and the ex-girl called everyone we knew to spread the news when we got engaged, now it was the opposite - I wouldn't have to call everyone I knew to tell them I was now un-engaged. And so a few weeks or months pass and I get emails like "hey I heard the news and I'm sorry" - which is awesome - what better response could I ask for? I would much rather that than have to go through days and days of calling everyone I knew saying "Sorry, it's over - do I really have to return that picture frame you got us as an engagement gift?" To those not on Facebook and who weren't informed of the situation by someone else, eventually they did get a phone call from me, on my terms, which was just what I needed.

So anyways, after the debacle of making sure all of my friends and family knew what happened, I thought about changing my relationship status to "Single" to let the ladies know that I was back out on the market, and then I thought better of it. I don't want to have to change my relationship status if/when I get into a relationship again, and then possibly go through the same thing of having a News Feed on Facebook of "David xxxxxx is no longer in a relationship". So now there is no relationship status listed next to my name - it's just better this way, and I encourage many to consider this option.

(Side note - to the people whom I haven't yet told that I am not engaged anymore, well...umm I'm not engaged anymore. It's a long story and I'll tell you about it one of these days.)